I wish I could remember which now, but the sum of the parts have escaped me,
left somehow somewhere in my head.
I saw you standing above me, your smile melting and falling into mine
you were all silhouette and glitter, laughter ribbons and swaying shine
I can remember the smell of the afternoon sunlight
and my hand inside your dress, both of us gold and bending
slow-motion, and other scenes cut, swell up and falter
of when we were at our best.
and it's weird how hard my heart is pounding, as Im racing
home to get this down, chasing the poems I write while Im dreaming,
that with eyes wide open, are so elusive to all my notions and searching, and are seldom
intact and full, if ever they are found.
and why am I just a breath from tears, I mean we barely even speak, whats this panic
of letting this memory go, and why I am a just a breath away from tears,
am I afraid to let these moments unravel, and naturally quiet into passing thoughts
inside the yesterday of future years?
and I can't quite capture all of the words that I was thinking,
or writing, or seeing or speaking,
there's the image of a love letter and the flash of ink
still wet, then the words fog in mist and start running,
no longer clear they ripple
in worn color on pages, dry and brittle,
and something inside me is fighting to stop this,
before they tear and fray completely
and unthread in the ticking of the wind.
it's like watching a dream carried
away on a whisper across the sky,
the soul coming to, not sure of what is real, on what facts or feelings
are true, and on which it should rely,
its as if my hurt is looking
for something familiar, something it can't be certain
of if it really knew,
I guess its just seems so strange and sad that I can't seem to remember
you well enough now to miss you.
