i wonder when i will think of you, years
from now and what
i will think.
i wonder if what you
gave was free from fear i think
it was, but you are
you, and that is
that.

little girl in so many ways and grey nun in
so many others.
no sundays left my dear in this old
church of me.
so it is a shame, perhaps, that
this is done now, or it is a shame perhaps
that this ever was.

but fuck it, all in the blink
of a day, in the sudden
and incredible flash
of a lifetime.
we were, and i suppose,
that
had it's reason.

and as i play in real time
the rewind of this
slow motion detonation, i have
to enjoy the absurdity of ever thinking
we could share
similar togethers
of any similar
and gentle
forevers.