I have always been
dead.
I have always been
alive, and hopefully
my placement of the first line(s)
and the one(s) that follow
make no difference to you, because
they make no difference
to me.

but it has been years since,
I tried to explain any of that,
since
I tried to grab any metaphysical collar ( or
broken wing crest for that matter )
and shake out
the agree
the I
recognize
the confirmation,
it has been years since
I've made the kinds of mistakes
that got one jew
crucified, and
lost millions more
( jews and non-jews )
in the after-act.

no no no now
its a much more
quiet and exclusive cult
so much so that
often I disall0w
my own attendance.

but then joy
division erupts and
I'm taken to dark England,
his pain, the noose, and
a comfortable wish
to watch him sleeping.

love will tear us apart again, and
it has surely turned this poem
to shit.