i wonder if i will want any more.
so far there have been two women
that i have loved more than any other
more than i should have more
than either cared for,
at the time, or
cared for as I had hoped
they would.

both so beautiful in the black
and white memories and most
beloved pitctures I have of them.
both so perfect in thier kaleidoscopic
occupation of my deepest and most protected
and beloved self.

i wonder if i will want any more.
so far they both reach out from
crumbling and brilliant free
falls through bliss, asking
for my hand to hold them or
guide a more gentle descent
to
much safer
ground.

i wonder if i will love any more, like
i do them.
i wonder if i have the strength to love
any more, like i do
them.

I am not the one, not at least to
either of them. If so, i would
be.
Such is this, and at least I am
forever grateful that I have left gardens
inside of them, beacons of yes you can
count on me.
but, I often wonder, if
I will want any more.