this was going to start
angry
and annoyed
but how can i be
i love you all so very much
such love i have for you
my beautiful my fragile
my lovely
lovely fools.

and i forget sometimes
how much i really scare you,
no matter where i am now.

and i was going to yell
until thinking about me yelling
thought about it,
and started laughing,
and laughing
would be no better way
to say it...
i mean really
there’s no point in saying anything
which is also something
i seem to forget, so you see
i know what its like to be a fool
im one of the best i know,
but it can be quite lonely
to know that.

im in whats called a terrible place
where the fools will say im not myself
so i guess that makes me someone else
but not a fool (because a fool could never fool themselves.)

wait,                           stop.
what am i doing.
i'm doing what
they can only know
as terrible.
fuck.
i mean it doesnt matter anyways, so no need
for me to mock this(it/them).
lets start over.

i love you all so very much
such love i have for you
my beautiful my fragile
my lovely
lovely fools.
i know you are afraid.
i know you think you believe that i am
in a terrible place.
but there is no such thing
as a terrible place.
places arent wonderful
or terrible,
they are just places.

i am only inside,
just wandering around
inside of myself, but understand
that where i am
is as true as
outside of me is -
where being afraid of me
you are somehow able to forget.
but no matter where i am,
i am not afraid.
but you don't believe me, do you?
will you even try to imagine it for me?
that just maybe it is possible that
i am truly
not afraid?

i know you think you are afraid of what
you think i am doing, what you think
i may
do.
but honestly, you have absolutely no idea.
but don’t worry,
neither do i.

and so,
there’s just that thing.
that beautiful and fragile and lovely
thing.
and i know some of you have felt good, have
humored me,
pretending to play along,
thinking you’re letting me think
that you believe me.

but that’s ok.
i was pretending too.
i was pretending for you
too.


and i guess it doesnt matter,
there’s really no point in saying anything.
i simply wanted to tell you that inside or outside, i am
always as near or as far as you can imagine that to be.

i love you all so very much
such love i have for you
my beautiful my fragile
my lovely
lovely fools.